Patience is my most difficult virtue to master. I have difficulty waiting for things and answers to prayers in God’s time. I see the need for urgent response to prayer. Yet, for some reason, the Lord sees things differently. He does not see the urgency I see. That is my first clue, that MY plan may not necessarily be His plan. So what is His plan for me? When He “delays” in revealing His plan for me, I get frustrated. I lose patience. Does this sound familiar to you? Can you relate?
Patience Requires Trust
When I get frustrated, I must acknowledge that the root of my impatience is a lack of trust in God’s Providence. I question God’s logistics, using my limited scope of vision. I realize that much of what I hope for seems impossible to achieve without God’s involvement. Therefore, patience requires that I trust in God to deliver at the perfect time. With that being the case, what are we supposed to do in the meantime?
How tedious waiting can be! At times it can be painful, because usually we are waiting for something very important: a solution to a problem, a cure for an illness, or possibly a direction to take in our lives. For me, I am looking for direction. Several years ago, I made a vow to God, to give Him my life to do with as He pleases. I surrendered my need for control and placed my life in His hands. Now, I am being tested, and I fear that I am failing the test. I have been in a waiting pattern for so long, I see no end in sight.
I do know this: I have a burning desire to evangelize and bring souls to Christ. At least I know that much of the plan. What I seek to know now is how do I live up to the vow I made to God and still pay my bills? This is where the trust comes in; which reminds me of a prayer I learned at a Lenten retreat several years ago:
God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.
God works in ways I cannot see.
God will make a way for me.
So, I wait for God to lay out the path ahead of me, resisting the urge to take back control. I trust that He is setting the course ahead, although I cannot see it at the moment. And I believe that he will always do what is best for me. Therefore, I wait with patience as best I can, for God will make a way for me.