The cure for anything starts with understanding how it came to be in the first place. Immodesty stems from a lack of self love, resulting in a lack of self-worth. When a person lacks self-love and self-worth he/she tends to hunt for affirmation, looking to fit in, and at times, bowing to peer pressure in trying to fit in to a preconceived mold defined by others. All this person wants is to be loved and to be told that he/she is worthy. This person craves attention, any kind of attention, even negative attention. That’s why immodest people tend to act, speak and/or dress distastefully. They want to be noticed. Because of the lack of self-love and self-worth, the immodest individual does not have enough self-confidence to believe that affirmation, love and increased self-worth can be achieved through positive means.
What is the cure?
Understanding where immodesty stems from, what is the cure? Anyone who would like to change their behavior and embrace the virtue of modesty must first acknowledge that the lewdness, foul language and/or scantily clad apparel of their present day life aren’t having the desired effect. Ask yourself: Is what I’m doing really bringing more “real” love into my life; the kind of love that my heart truly desires? Is what I’m doing really making me feel better about myself? If the answer is no, then you have just taken a huge first step towards the cure for immodesty.
Next, you need to understand that you are loved by God. Not so easy to comprehend you say? Through prayer, seek an understanding heart. The Lord will show you how much He loves you in countless ways. Just keep your eyes, ears and heart open to receive His love.
As you persist in prayer to seek an understanding heart, there are things that you can do in the meantime:
- Direct your actions and words toward others with God in mind, remembering that you are addressing Him when you do things and speak to others, for we are all made in the image and likeness of God and the Divine Indwelling resides in all of us.
- Seek only God’s approval for what you do, say and wear. With that in mind, you’ll think twice before committing lewd actions, curse, or dress immodestly.
- Seek God’s attention rather than worldly attention. This brings us back to prayer. Seek God, through prayer, and you will find the love your heart desires and you will begin to believe in yourself with a new found self-worth.
This concludes our discussion on the virtue of modesty. Next up – Purity! How does a pure heart lead to holiness? We’ll address the answer to that question in our next reflection. Don’t miss it!